One-liner: Disarray
I don’t just live in a constant state of disarray. I’m the governor.
Hence the repeated delays on posting these things.
One-liner: Wheeling with Uncertainty
She changes her mind more often than a gull in a thermal changes heading.
It was a very bird-friendly morning.
One-liner: Ineffectual Scolding
She cussed him out like a bluejay going after the pig stealing its acorn cache.
The Stellar’s Jay in the tree next to our place was particularly squawky this morning. I swear, neither Brodie nor I had any interest in your secret stash, sister jay. Just back off already.
One-Liner: Boys Will Be Boys
Here’s one that takes a bit more context, so I’ve set it in my novel:
Solstice raised an eyebrow at Cliff. “I take it you weren’t really paying attention to what she said.”
Cliff drew a breath, looking as if he were preparing to defend himself, then let it out with a sigh and a shake of his head. He looked at his bare toes in the dirt.
Solstice reached up to lift his chin until his gaze met hers. She spoke as if to a weeping toddler. “Poor baby. You were distracted by her sweater puppies, weren’t you?”
Yasmina blushed a bit. Laurel snorted.
Reynard regarded the tableau for a moment, then stepped in front of Cliff to face Solstice. “In Cliff’s defense… they were Great Danes.”
Cliff’s discomfiture deepened as his companions fell into laughter.
We aim to be classy in this here establishment.
I blame the folks at Bounce/Title 9 who sent me a bra catalog.
One-liner: How many birthdays?
As Indy said,
It’s not the years, honey, it’s the mileage.
Or in my case,
It’s not the years… it’s the margaritas.
(An excellent birthday card reminded me to take birthdays with a few grains of salt… on the rim!)
One-Liner: Salt & Pepper
White was sprinkled throughout the reds of his hair and beard, salt-and-cayanne where more conventional men of his age showed salt-and-black-pepper.
Who is that about, and what age exactly? I’ll never tell… (Erik, 44)
One-liner: Pedaling
Explaining sophisticated technology to Laurel was like pedaling a road bike up a sand dune – not impossible, just an unreasonable expenditure of effort.
Another one that fits into the world of my story.
My NoWriMo Progress Report
At the halfway mark, it’s looking… not so good, really. I should be at 15,000 words. Instead, I’m only at 2,974 words of actual draft since the start of the month. I’ve also written about 2,000 words of notes since January 1st, not to mention even more development of my plot planner:
It only starts to look respectable if you add in the 5,216 words I had written in 2010-2011, and that still leaves me 6,810 words short of actual draft work. So, I am definitely not on track to make my goal 
Plus, I’m starting to worry about all the other stuff I’m supposed to do before the end of the month.
I’ll give a report by the end of the month, and I’m hoping I can at least make it to 50% of my original goal, but I’m not expecting much more than that.
Meanwhile, I’ll get caught up on those one-liners… I promise.
One-liner: Road Apples
She can’t tell a road apple from a rutebega.
I’m hoping that what it lacks in originality it makes up in alliteration.
Sky Dragon
The cloud overhead was a dragon rising from the bay, shimmering in gold, magenta and silver, flicking bright droplets of Jupiter and Venus from its tail.
Not so much a humor oriented one-liner, but… it was a very pretty sunset. This seemed as good a place as any to put it.
